Two Weddings and A Funeral

It’s been a week that had a lot of tears… happy and sad. Friday was a ex classmate’s wedding. Known him for 7 years since Perth days at Curtin International College all the way back to Singapore Informatics. I finally get to see his girlfriend/fiance and now wife that I had always heard about in the days. Congratulations Mr R.B and Mrs!! It was an amazing venue at Shangri-La Hotel and the chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and the elaborate golden setting. All the ladies dressed in gowns and having their confession of their love to each other and their commitments. It was a beautiful night.

And as I sat there thinking how happy everybody was tonight, I came home to a family mourning the death of a cousin. Funny I just saw him a month ago at work and we were chatting. He looked so happy, healthy and his work projects were picking up. He died on Friday morning and apparently it was because he had a heart attack. There were tears of sadness for him. His mourning still carried on Saturday night. There was a plan for a Sunday family wedding before the incident. The wedding was my dead cousin’s sister’s daughter’s wedding.

Not everything can be planned and sometimes reflecting upon it makes me sad. I wonder what my parents would have felt if I got hit by that tree branch that day. People asked me if it was a wake up call. Truthfully I don’t know…. my life still goes on being how it use to be. I don’t think I have changed much even though I know there are so many things I should handle better. Funny what will it take to make me change my ways for good? Love perhaps? Perhaps not. Self will? Will tell you when I find out.

She Makes Me Laugh

Sis: ”How much you put in capital today?”
Mom: “I don’t know…”
Sis: “How much stock you take in for this week then?”
Mom: “I don’t know…”
Sis: “What do you know then?”
Mom: “I know I almost finish selling all the products today.”
Me: “WAhahHAHhahH”

She cracks me up almost everytime… Only my dear sister can stand her in times like this.

Relative Weddings…

Relative wedding ceremonies tend to be a time where you get to meet the relatives and cousins that you never knew you had or you knew you had but you just never kept in contact with.

I had to admit… tonight was something like that. I dragged myself to my 3rd Uncle’s daughter’s wedding. Since my father’s family is quite large, a bus picked us up from my parent’s place and drove us to the hotel. It was the first time I have ever been to a wedding ceremony. I totally missed out my cousin’s I’s wedding 2 years ago when I wasn’t in town so today I got my first dosage of meeting the “family”. (The next time will be yours cousin C!)

So the usual questions popped up again. As expected…
“When will it be your turn?”
“Are you seeing someone?”

Funny I don’t see my priorities as being to meet someone and get married as soon as possible. Even if I did meet the person right now that I liked and spend my time with them… I have my own plans for me right now that I need to get done. How selfish of me right?

Had a few relatives tease me saying how “handsome” I was and how I shouldn’t enter the ladies since I would have entered the wrong toilets. *Frowns distastefully*. Sensing my Dad’s eldest sister suspects me, she keeps asking about my friend T’s whereabouts.

It is exhausting sometimes just hiding but in so many ways… I feel relieved that they don’t know much about me. Sometimes things are better left the way it is. Shouldn’t question it and just accept the things the way they are right now right? Am I convincing myself or the world?

Peer Pressure

Question:
What happens when your cousins and your elder sister starts to get married? Not only one cousin but two!
Answer:
You get thrown the inevitable question of,
“When will it be your turn?”

I often don’t know how to associate my facial expressions in this kind of scenario. Theoretically they are just wanting me to spill my guts out about the guy I am dating but probem is I ain’t dating anyone. I wonder if I just came out with the truth if they will be in shock and just stop asking me. Is it bad that I don’t want to get married? At this moment I just want to finish my studies and get myself into the industry and focus on my career. Is it bad that I want a career more right now?
I don’t know but I find that these are one of those things that are better left unsaid. Times where I just nod and just let all the relatives say what they want and have their minds formulate stories to satisfy their own queries.

The Generation Gap

She’s your sister! Why do you do that to her?

I sometimes wonder what is on her mind. She is 12 years younger than me and she grew up in Singapore while I had the luxury of growing up in Saudi where life isn’t as pressurizing as Singapore where status and material goods were not important in Saudi.

I haven’t been a very good older sister I admit. Half the time I am screaming at her because she has gone and done something that I don’t even comprehend. It’s like she’s gone through the rebellious stage 5 years earlier than I ever did. I ain’t jealous but I never imagined to be this way. What ever happened to children being innocent and naive? Which could explain how come I give her so much pressure since she is only in Primary 6 and her results ain’t going to get her anywhere if she doesn’t buckle up and move with the flow.

There is a generation gap between me and her. I often warn her that there is no free meal in this world. She doesn’t comprehend it now. I pick at her faults because my parents did that to me… but how is it my parents are not up to par with her as they had on me? And why is it my fault when they never taught her right in the first place. It definitely gets my blood boiling and a lot of attitude towards my parents when they start pointing fingers at me.

Lashing out won’t get any sympathy points from me.
Suffering from lack of sleep won’t win any hard working points from me.
Tears flowing from your eyes won’t get any hugs from me.
Sucking up to me won’t get any brownie points from me.
I am this cruel when it comes to loved ones maybe because I expect much more from them.