I Am Waiting

I am waiting for the day to play this song to you…

“You looked right through me
When there was no one else
I sat beside you and became myself.”

- Jason Radin in “Today”

Quote THEM!

“I’m only afraid of losing you. I feel like you’re going to disappear. You don’t know how long I have waited for you.

So the lion fell in love with a lamb. What a stupid lamb… What a sick masochistic lion.” - Twilight

All I Got…

I have to believe that this is the right choice.
I have to believe that this pain is worth it at the end of the day.
I have to believe all the tears that I cry myself to sleep is the way to let you let me go.
I have to believe that what I decide to tell you now are the right words for us to be friends.

Protected: I Want to Win Your Heart With a Woo Woo…

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Protected: Loving You…

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It’s Never Enough

What I want is not viable.

Never enough…

I Can’t Help How I Feel

My heart skips and I know that I shouldn’t for you because you told me not to. But I don’t know why I am so stubborn and feel this way. So I try to convince myself by telling myself that I will try not to. But everyday when I know that on the way back home I will spend that 20 minute ride with you… I have to say that is the high of my day.

Silly of me to think that by repeating “I will try not to” it might stop this feeling. Somehow it doesn’t seem to work miracles for me and every night I end up saying the opposite to them. Not something one should do. I can’t help how I feel… what am I to do? Feel very confused and conflicted.

Awkward Love

Breakups are not a good thing for emotional factors… it can get awkward or it doesn’t if it was a mutual breakup. But how is one to feel if they were dating someone and then a few months later split up and find out the other one went back to an ex and are planning to get married? I would classify this as “awkward love”. It’s not a good feeling to be in as the one that has the shorter end of the stick emotionally.

I guess I had my fair share of “awkward love”(s). Maybe I was immature to not face it and avoid the situation at all costs. Somehow though… that truly didn’t help me in letting that particular person go. So what does one do? Accept it? Wish the person a happy future? Learn to love oneself again and try again? Easier said than done and then how does one deal with the pain and the memories when one acts as if everything is ok?

I guess one way to deal with this is to look at it from a different point of view. It is better to have loved than have not loved at all right? To think that for that “time” together of all the good things you’ve had, it’s not something that you can ever get from having all the money in the world. It is a feeling that for that time and that moment, you were given a glimpse of pure truthfulness and willingness for the sacrifice for love. It’s not everyday that you will get this feeling so when it happens, be appreciative of it.

Problems always happen in relationships… and I find myself being a hypocrite to my own self teachings. But everybody sees it once in a lifetime… a friend or yourself loving someone that may not return those feelings and your willingness that is flowing through your blood to do anything for that person and if you are lucky your conscience kicking in before you do anything hasty.

The pain and memories don’t go away. The stab left from others often become scars. If you ever asked if I hated being in “awkward love”… of course I do but I loved them at some point and at that point of time… I was willing to sacrifice certain things that were important to me. How do you know when you moved on? When you know you still love them and you have them in your heart always but you have your own plans in life that you want to achieve and you see their lives with their own plans. If you love them very much, you wouldn’t ask the other to sacrifice what they are going for just to suit your own set of dreams but this doesn’t mean that all relationships will never work. Mind you some people are willing to sacrifice all for the ones they love such as a mother to her own child.

Then it links to the point of: is love measurable? Then I would say it all depends. It can be measurable and it sometimes can’t be. For example it isn’t fair to measure love through the things one does and one says right? So for a person who is not very good at expressing their love means they don’t love anything in the world. That is a silly conclusion but somehow humans try and find things to measure love by and measure things by. So thus is it safe to assume to say that if I avoided this person for this time frame, they will assume and believe I do not love them anymore? The things people will do just to convince oneself and others otherwise. It’s like living a lie within a lie and not knowing where truth is… and it becomes awkward. I have to admit though, it was a never mistake… I wanted it as much as they did… I never regretted… but I did compromise at the end of the day. We are both on different paths in our lives… and for that time and that moment I was willing to work at anything to be by your side… but somehow I felt naive, I felt unhappy, I felt the cut across my heart. For that time and that moment, I loved you. I still do but I don’t ever want to put them in a position where they may have to sacrifice who they are and what they want for spending time with me. No one can guarantee that love lasts forever, it needs work and patience and no judgement sometimes. But for now… I am walking on “awkward love”.

The Love of Tan Hong Ming

S sent me this. This is so adorable. Kids… Look at Tan Hong Ming’s face at the end of the clip. ekkeke SO CUTE RIGHT?

How We Met Posted By tracecats

This is cute. Check it out: